People always tell me that they are amazed at how strong I am. Maybe it's because I was given a death sentence and kept living past my death date or how I keep it all together, knowing that I might lose my life in trying to save it. They are right; I am strong, but only because I have no other choice. I don't know how to live my life any other way, but to take the blows and keep standing and keep living. I have a lot of people counting on me to stay strong and not fail. I hate losing and anyone who knows me, knows I fight 'till I can't fight any longer.
Someone reminded me today that it is not God who creates the valleys in our lives, but it is the devil that is challenging us to turn away from our faith and trust in him. It makes perfect sense, because the ones who are weak are easily persuaded to seek an easy way out. It is the strong in faith that are his ultimate challenge and, thus, end up with more crosses to bear. My crosses are exhausting lately and I am admitting to the whole world and heaven above that I feel weak. I am tired. I cannot bear much more and I feel as though I am breaking inside and out.
There are only a couple of things in my life that I am certain of and even those are failing on me. But I have a choice and, as I always do, I am going to put my faith and trust all in God. I know it is said, "Faith, hope and love abide, these three, but the greatest of these is love" so I am trusting in words that will save me in more ways than one.
I refuse to be defined by the circumstances in my life. I am trying so hard to trust in the things that I know are sent from heaven. Sometimes you have to fight for what seems impossible, but in your heart you believe to be blessings from God.
Nothing is impossible and I know that from experience. I have to believe that the good Lord has a plan for me, so I am all in. No one ever said it would be a walk in the park, so I say, "Bring It."