I have learned that intense, constant, pain is not only painful, but also causes so many other things to happen in the body. I have had constant pain (with a break here or there) for the past five days and it has been debilitating. It's primarily caused from my new stem cells in my marrow.. It is painful, but a pain I’ve never experienced before in my life. It lives deep inside my bones and nothing relieves it. We are hopeful that it ends soon, but it's just too hard to predict.
This excruciating pain has lead to fatigue, headaches, frustration, lack of appetite, less laps completed around the unit, and more. Some of these side effects are caused directly from the pain in my legs and some are from the pain medications I have been given through my IV. It's been a nightmare of a cycle that I seem to routinely deal with now, everyday. This has got to stop. My doctors and I have increased my pain medication orders so that I can try and stay in control of the pain, rather than letting myself reach a state where the meds are just trying to catch up with the pain. So, to say the least, today was rough.
Days like these really make me miss my son and my family, the smell of being outside, work; all of the little things in life that happen outside of the hospital. The good news is that I am about to go to bed. With little sleep last night, I am exhausted tonight. The even better news is the thought of a new day, or the hope of tomorrow, and that is definitely something to smile about.